Okay....soo....today was a complete DISASTER. I was assigned to 7th grade Language Arts. Now, I just had some of these kids the other day so I figured, no sweat, piece of cake. Whew, was I WAY off the mark! I knew I was in trouble when, on the lesson plan, the class work was to facilitate a
" Touchstones" lesson. Ironically, this is to help them learn listening and discussion skills. The ground rules being: No interrupting when someone is speaking, Respect everyone, do not raise hand during discussion, participate, and a few other "adult" rules. REALLY??? Giving a freaking SUB a lesson which requires, in her words "very specific instructions" which I was to find and figure out on my own, in the "Touchstones" manual. Give me a damn break. Please, next time it is "Touchstones" day, which is a required lesson throughout the school district, sub in a movie or something for crying out loud!
Touchstones is a great idea, but seriously, they have only done it one other time this year and to expect them to cooperate is totally insane. Did you REALLY think that 7th graders would, #1 listen as I read a section of Homer's Odyssey, #2 read silently to review the content, #3 complete the independent work quietly, #4 work in small groups to discuss their answers, and finally #5, return to the circle to discuss, as a class, without interrupting one another, nor starting debates, WHY they chose " disfigured beyond recognition" as their #1 choice why they would be adverse to seeing an old friend again after 3 years.
Needless to say, it took me forever just to get the damned warm up done BEFORE we even began the assignment.
7th graders, especially boys, are like puppy dogs, no...baby lions. They need to be constantly at play and in motion and challenging their elders. My boys today were ALL LION. They could NOT sit still nor listen, nor stop laughing at every mention of a "Trojan" warrior. ( I let them all gaffaw at TROJAN before we went on to get it our of their system) I suffered through the lesson, only to let them just debate (Opps ground rules...mybad....) why it is not cool to dump a girl just because she has a few scares from an unfortunate incident involving a curling iron.
I felt like an amateur due to having to call in reinforcements: first the admin, then the teacher across the hall. Three boys got hauled off to MIP...ie in school suspension, and the rest I put on a "bad kid" list for their teacher to deal with tomorrow.
So, strange as it may seem, a few of the so called "bad kids" who were a hot mess at the beginning of class, and who, the other students volunteered, where the worst of the worst, ended up being my "good kids". I have no idea what I said to them, but they settled in, did their work, and offered to help me reign in the terror. Some of the so called "bad kids" were not what you think: they were not all the
" poor minority" stereotypes. As a matter of fact, it was an equal -opportunity- disrespect -the- teacher episode.
And this was not even the worst thing that happened.
I, trying to sit back down in the plush, executive type teacher seat, somehow happened to miss my entire self reaching the deck, only to fall, flailing, on my ass in front of half the class. Yup, the worst effin nightmare for a SUB. I.ACHIEVED.IT. Of course I stood up like a cat who has missed the counter searching for food, and announced promptly that "Im okay, nothing to look at here, all is good." But of course the word spread like wild fire that Mrs Marron-Asti must be on something and fell on her tush.
Well, to quell the impending hurricane, I fessed up and invited the class to mutually humiliate me with a group guffaw of hilarity, and that was that. But......wait for it.......What I did not realize, was that there was a pool of BLOOD below me spewing from my big toe. The chair from hell managed to slice my toe on my way down.........Okay...get it together Mrs. Marron-Asti, you have humiliated and maimed yourself and 3/4 of the class is ADD or just plain damned juvenile delinquents....what now?
What now you ask? Well, it was just ride it out like a tsuanmi until 2:40.
PISSED OFF and wanting to shame them, I ended up telling the kids that I will not be accepting jobs from the teacher again due to the extreme disrepsect. That I had never experienced that kind of chaos in the class room in all my years doing this job.
I hoped that they got a mean old lady or man who was nasty and hateful and that they would WISH they had me back.
I truly get sad that I have to say that, that some of the children of today are so ridiculously out out of control and lack the basic principles of politeness and respect. The only thing that I can think of that may be of fault, is the ever present saturate- them -with- every- mode- of -disrespect media, the instant gratification phenomenon of today's culture, and the HEY LOOK AT ME I AM SO SPECIAL I DESERVE TO DO WHAT I WANT WHEN THE F I WANT sense of entitlement.Hmmm..... Parents perhaps?
Okay, time for that drink, dip in the pool and feeling the glee that is the weekend.
